So I attempted to start several new paintings last night and earlier this morning and while I know what I want to do, I'm having the worst trouble getting it out of my head! It's been a long time since I've struggled like this and I don't like it! Especially when I have a deadline to meet here in the next two weeks!
My process usually involves:
- thumbnail sketches
- larger sketches, fleshing out the details
- a scan into photoshop for tweaking and resizing
- print
- trace enlarged version
- transfer to intended surface
- pencil in more details
- flesh out back ground
- ink lines
- base colour
- detailed colour
- painting
it's a very long, drawn out process that I've whittled down to a science but I can't seem to get past my thumbnail sketches and even those, I'm not so thrilled with any of them that I'm wanting to move on to bigger and better and it's really frustrating. Really. Really. Frustrating.
commentary from the mind of the artist
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Beauty is Embracing Your Uniqueness.
I really wanted this blog to be about art. Solely about art. But this video really upset me and I just wanted to address it. I don't know who all is reading this. I don't have any followers but should you happen across my little corner of the internet. I hope you read this and I hope it makes you think.
As a drawing major I spent hours doing live drawings of models of all shapes, sizes, and gender. I learned to study people. Analyze them. Were there models I didn't find particularly attractive? Yes. But instead of focusing on the ugly, I tried to find something I DID like about them that I WANTED to draw. Consequently, I think my eye is a little more critical of "beauty" and a little more analytical when it comes to studying faces. And people. And this is why this video upset me.
http://www.aol.com/video/bullied-teen-plastic-surgery/517637251/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl6%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D263754
This mother allowed her 14 year old daughter to get $40,000-worth of plastic surgery to stop her from being bullied for her big ears. Her "before" picture to me wasn't that bad. Were her ears rather pronounced? Yes, but I didn't think they were so very ridiculous.
However, what REALLY upset me is there's an organization devoted to providing plastic surgery to children and through this organization this girl and her mother traveled to NYC to meet a plastic surgeon to have her ears pinned back. The plastic surgeon then convinced the mother to allow her daughter to get a NOSE JOB and a CHIN IMPLANT.
My first issue with this is, again, I didn't think the girl looked that bad, she's fourteen, tall, awkward and gangly but WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE!!! It's part of growing up but this plastic surgeon pointed out all these "other issues", which to me, was just preying on this girl's vulnerability and insecurity.
My second issue with this is her mother. Her mother claims in the video that she thought her daughter was beautiful before but now she's just "gorgeous". I feel like, and this is coming as someone who was picked on for their looks, that her mother failed her as a mother.
Her mother really needed to sit her down and tell her "to those who matter, you're beautiful". Her mother needed to explain to her that being awkward and uncomfortable in one's body is part of growing up. Her mother NEEDED to let her daughter grow up and grow into herself.
The fact of the matter is, physiologically, humans, particularly women, don't stop growing and maturing til we're into our mid 20s. This girl is 14. She should grow up before making such drastic changes to her body.
I get it, kids are cruel. Bullying is a huge issue but I was Queen of Awkward growing up and my mom would've thought me crazy had I asked for surgery to change that. I hit puberty in 4th grade. I got glasses AND braces in 5th grade, followed shortly by acne. The trifecta. Kids were merciless in their torment of me. I'd have kids grab my shirt and yank it down, trying to prove I was "stuffing" my bra, which I was not.
As I got older though, I got contacts- they're not aesthetic and I have no problem wearing my glasses- I needed them for sports. I got my braces off. My teeth still aren't perfect, I do have a gap between my front teeth. My acne eventually cleared up with age, good hygiene, and an improved diet. Are my boobs still huge? Yes. Am I heavier than I'd like? Yes, but I'm working on it. And I'm doing it in a healthy way.
What I've gone through in the last few years is called "maturity". I grew into myself, I found who I was and became comfortable and confident in myself. I learned to love myself. I still have those bad days where I feel "fat". I still have those days where I hate how big my boobs are, how I don't have a gap between my thighs, but it's part of being human and quite frankly, that fourteen year old girl may feel good now, but there will always be people who don't like you, who will tease you and belittle you.
I still deal with it from time to time, there will always be bullies trying to put you down but what's next? This fourteen year old completely altered her face. Will she be allowed to get breast implants at 16 when she hasn't "developed" like the rest of her friends? Liposuction on imaginary fat rolls because some girl teased her for being too heavy? Plastic surgery is a slipper slope and quite frankly, I worry about how that girl will look once she does reach physical maturation. Those chin and nose implants are plastic. They won't grow and change and adapt as she does.
Her mother, as the PARENT needed to let her daughter grow and mature, in my opinion. She needed to say "you know what, kids are cruel but it's part of growing up". If her daughter still wanted surgery once she got older (like 18+), then as an adult she could make that decision but how will this affect her as she does enter high school an does begin to mature towards adulthood? I feel like her mother copped out. She had an opportunity for a "teachable moment" and she didn't take it.
I may not have kids of my own but I believe it's important that kids be given that chance to grow into themselves and I believe that any adult who has regular contact with children- whether they are a parent, a teacher, or any other sort of mentor, has a responsibility to bolster a child's confidence. Kids need to know that they may not be "perfect" but that's what makes us human.
I would get teased because I had green eyes instead of blue. I would be teased because my face was "manly", or because I had a "dent" in my chin. I was teased for having boobs. I was teased for being "heavy". I was teased for having glasses, for having braces.
Now I look at myself in the mirror, as a grown adult, and I may not like the gap in my teeth but it's there. I've accepted it. I've been told that people have surgery to have that "dent" put in their chin. I still wear contacts and glasses but I love having green eyes. I get asked if I'm wearing coloured contacts all the time. I would rather have a "manly" face (i.e. square jaw and high cheekbones) because quite frankly, I think I look strong and it belies my Cherokee heritage. I could go on but this is turning into a freaking novel.
Long story short, my parents were parents first and foremost. They refused to let me change myself to placate my detractors. They let me cry when I was teased. They made endless phone calls to other parents, they were in the principle's office every other day because of various incidents but they loved me, and they loved me the way I was.
They told me I was silly for wanting blue eyes and blond hair, that had God wanted me to have them, I would've. They made sure that, even when I was hurting, I knew there were people who loved me the way I was and those were the opinions that mattered. They made sure that I knew that things would get better. And they did.
This girl is not being given that chance to learn that lesson. And it's a lesson I feel is integral to growing up. She hasn't even started high school yet. How will she cope when she's the freshman being teased by the popular seniors? Plastic surgery is just a band aid on her psyche. If you give in and allow a child to drastically change themselves every time someone says something negative about them, how will they learn to love themselves? How will they learn to stand up for themselves? How will they learn how to deal with conflict? How will they learn how to diffuse a situation? How will they learn to move on? Most importantly, if you allow a child to change to placate others, how will they know who THEY are? No matter what your age, gender, sexual orientation, you will never be happy if you continue to change to placate other people.
As a drawing major I spent hours doing live drawings of models of all shapes, sizes, and gender. I learned to study people. Analyze them. Were there models I didn't find particularly attractive? Yes. But instead of focusing on the ugly, I tried to find something I DID like about them that I WANTED to draw. Consequently, I think my eye is a little more critical of "beauty" and a little more analytical when it comes to studying faces. And people. And this is why this video upset me.
http://www.aol.com/video/bullied-teen-plastic-surgery/517637251/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl6%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D263754
This mother allowed her 14 year old daughter to get $40,000-worth of plastic surgery to stop her from being bullied for her big ears. Her "before" picture to me wasn't that bad. Were her ears rather pronounced? Yes, but I didn't think they were so very ridiculous.
However, what REALLY upset me is there's an organization devoted to providing plastic surgery to children and through this organization this girl and her mother traveled to NYC to meet a plastic surgeon to have her ears pinned back. The plastic surgeon then convinced the mother to allow her daughter to get a NOSE JOB and a CHIN IMPLANT.
My first issue with this is, again, I didn't think the girl looked that bad, she's fourteen, tall, awkward and gangly but WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE!!! It's part of growing up but this plastic surgeon pointed out all these "other issues", which to me, was just preying on this girl's vulnerability and insecurity.
My second issue with this is her mother. Her mother claims in the video that she thought her daughter was beautiful before but now she's just "gorgeous". I feel like, and this is coming as someone who was picked on for their looks, that her mother failed her as a mother.
Her mother really needed to sit her down and tell her "to those who matter, you're beautiful". Her mother needed to explain to her that being awkward and uncomfortable in one's body is part of growing up. Her mother NEEDED to let her daughter grow up and grow into herself.
The fact of the matter is, physiologically, humans, particularly women, don't stop growing and maturing til we're into our mid 20s. This girl is 14. She should grow up before making such drastic changes to her body.
I get it, kids are cruel. Bullying is a huge issue but I was Queen of Awkward growing up and my mom would've thought me crazy had I asked for surgery to change that. I hit puberty in 4th grade. I got glasses AND braces in 5th grade, followed shortly by acne. The trifecta. Kids were merciless in their torment of me. I'd have kids grab my shirt and yank it down, trying to prove I was "stuffing" my bra, which I was not.
As I got older though, I got contacts- they're not aesthetic and I have no problem wearing my glasses- I needed them for sports. I got my braces off. My teeth still aren't perfect, I do have a gap between my front teeth. My acne eventually cleared up with age, good hygiene, and an improved diet. Are my boobs still huge? Yes. Am I heavier than I'd like? Yes, but I'm working on it. And I'm doing it in a healthy way.
What I've gone through in the last few years is called "maturity". I grew into myself, I found who I was and became comfortable and confident in myself. I learned to love myself. I still have those bad days where I feel "fat". I still have those days where I hate how big my boobs are, how I don't have a gap between my thighs, but it's part of being human and quite frankly, that fourteen year old girl may feel good now, but there will always be people who don't like you, who will tease you and belittle you.
I still deal with it from time to time, there will always be bullies trying to put you down but what's next? This fourteen year old completely altered her face. Will she be allowed to get breast implants at 16 when she hasn't "developed" like the rest of her friends? Liposuction on imaginary fat rolls because some girl teased her for being too heavy? Plastic surgery is a slipper slope and quite frankly, I worry about how that girl will look once she does reach physical maturation. Those chin and nose implants are plastic. They won't grow and change and adapt as she does.
Her mother, as the PARENT needed to let her daughter grow and mature, in my opinion. She needed to say "you know what, kids are cruel but it's part of growing up". If her daughter still wanted surgery once she got older (like 18+), then as an adult she could make that decision but how will this affect her as she does enter high school an does begin to mature towards adulthood? I feel like her mother copped out. She had an opportunity for a "teachable moment" and she didn't take it.
I may not have kids of my own but I believe it's important that kids be given that chance to grow into themselves and I believe that any adult who has regular contact with children- whether they are a parent, a teacher, or any other sort of mentor, has a responsibility to bolster a child's confidence. Kids need to know that they may not be "perfect" but that's what makes us human.
I would get teased because I had green eyes instead of blue. I would be teased because my face was "manly", or because I had a "dent" in my chin. I was teased for having boobs. I was teased for being "heavy". I was teased for having glasses, for having braces.
Now I look at myself in the mirror, as a grown adult, and I may not like the gap in my teeth but it's there. I've accepted it. I've been told that people have surgery to have that "dent" put in their chin. I still wear contacts and glasses but I love having green eyes. I get asked if I'm wearing coloured contacts all the time. I would rather have a "manly" face (i.e. square jaw and high cheekbones) because quite frankly, I think I look strong and it belies my Cherokee heritage. I could go on but this is turning into a freaking novel.
Long story short, my parents were parents first and foremost. They refused to let me change myself to placate my detractors. They let me cry when I was teased. They made endless phone calls to other parents, they were in the principle's office every other day because of various incidents but they loved me, and they loved me the way I was.
They told me I was silly for wanting blue eyes and blond hair, that had God wanted me to have them, I would've. They made sure that, even when I was hurting, I knew there were people who loved me the way I was and those were the opinions that mattered. They made sure that I knew that things would get better. And they did.
This girl is not being given that chance to learn that lesson. And it's a lesson I feel is integral to growing up. She hasn't even started high school yet. How will she cope when she's the freshman being teased by the popular seniors? Plastic surgery is just a band aid on her psyche. If you give in and allow a child to drastically change themselves every time someone says something negative about them, how will they learn to love themselves? How will they learn to stand up for themselves? How will they learn how to deal with conflict? How will they learn how to diffuse a situation? How will they learn to move on? Most importantly, if you allow a child to change to placate others, how will they know who THEY are? No matter what your age, gender, sexual orientation, you will never be happy if you continue to change to placate other people.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Welcome to Bonefish Designs! If you happened to stumble across this page, I apologize for it's sparseness. I just started it yesterday so this is really the first post but I hope you decide it's worth coming back to at another date and time- hopefully once I've started adding images and commentary.
A bit of an introduction is in order, I suppose. My name is L.A. I'm 24 years old. I graduated from Shepherd University in West Virginia in 2010 with a BFA in printmaking and drawing. Currently I work as a lifeguard and as an after school enrichment instructor, which is just a fancy way of saying I teach art classes.
In addition to my official day job, I'm also a freelance artist. I do a lot of designs for local bands and a lot of flash for local tattoo artists. I also have a separate design company I call LA Felice Pesce Designs which is all jewelry and fabric crafts, of which I get fairly decent business. Not enough to quit my day job, mind you, but enough that I can actually feel like a legitimate designer.
I don't really have much to say with this first post, just that I've had a couple blogs before but was absolutely terrible at keeping them updated and I wasn't really thrilled with them anyways. I had to keep a blog for a class in college and quite frankly, when it's something I HAVE to do, I drag my heels doing it.
I decided to start fresh with a new blog really just for myself but I'm more than happy to share my musings with you, dear readers, should you happen to find my little corner of the internet. My motivation for starting this blog was to keep myself accountable. I'm pretty good about getting my freelance work turned in by deadlines but my commissions are so few and far between and I'm absolutely terrible about just drawing.
I used to be able to fill a sketch book in a matter of months, now I find myself struggling to even fill the first page and when I do start something, I'm absolutely terrible about finishing it. I'm hoping that writing this blog will give me the boost I need to throw myself back into my work. I'm really hoping that this blog will also hold me accountable to make sure I do finish what I started.
A bit of an introduction is in order, I suppose. My name is L.A. I'm 24 years old. I graduated from Shepherd University in West Virginia in 2010 with a BFA in printmaking and drawing. Currently I work as a lifeguard and as an after school enrichment instructor, which is just a fancy way of saying I teach art classes.
In addition to my official day job, I'm also a freelance artist. I do a lot of designs for local bands and a lot of flash for local tattoo artists. I also have a separate design company I call LA Felice Pesce Designs which is all jewelry and fabric crafts, of which I get fairly decent business. Not enough to quit my day job, mind you, but enough that I can actually feel like a legitimate designer.
I don't really have much to say with this first post, just that I've had a couple blogs before but was absolutely terrible at keeping them updated and I wasn't really thrilled with them anyways. I had to keep a blog for a class in college and quite frankly, when it's something I HAVE to do, I drag my heels doing it.
I decided to start fresh with a new blog really just for myself but I'm more than happy to share my musings with you, dear readers, should you happen to find my little corner of the internet. My motivation for starting this blog was to keep myself accountable. I'm pretty good about getting my freelance work turned in by deadlines but my commissions are so few and far between and I'm absolutely terrible about just drawing.
I used to be able to fill a sketch book in a matter of months, now I find myself struggling to even fill the first page and when I do start something, I'm absolutely terrible about finishing it. I'm hoping that writing this blog will give me the boost I need to throw myself back into my work. I'm really hoping that this blog will also hold me accountable to make sure I do finish what I started.
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